scrawls.

scrawls

still cheaper than therapy*

30.8.07

holy shit

When Google headhunts you, you HOP THE FUCK TO. Awesome. Dude.

In Soviet Russia Google does not headhunt you, ever.

Labels: internet, people, work

scrawled @ 18:14

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26.8.07

bad things to learn

after you have been living in a place for months and months and months, though not as bad as not being able to open the windows because the Russian embassy has snipers that are watching you very carefully, or suddenly finding out there's a shit ton of lead in the water, or something, and really a relatively minor catastrophe, and one that probably doesn't warrant the label, at that, but even so i have to wait until either M gets home or somebody comes over who is not extraordinarly pregnant* because i think getting on a ladder at this point would be a bad idea:

oh, so it was a real pumpkin.

what the fuck was the Previous Inhabitant doing with a real pumpkin on a very high and inaccessible shelf in february? and why would he store it next to the non-biodegradable other seasonal ornaments he left - the weird flat santa claus, inexplicable red glitter candle, and fakey-broken stone vasey thing? and when can i get rid of that awful Finding Nemo poster he left? Need to purge. If only i could reach that damn shelf.

*belly button is now sticking All the way out

Labels: house

scrawled @ 21:49

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24.8.07

arg

i hate all my pants

my fridge smells like curry

M is going to amsterdam for five days without me for a conference

His pants are too small, too. And i weigh more than him.

in an act of pants rebellion i am attempting the Hair Tie Trick with the lowest pair of low rise pants i own because maternity jeans here (okay, any jeans, but maternity ones too) cost too much and i miss denim. And pants. Maybe it will work.

i don't know what kind of tupperware to get

i am having a BABY and it is fucking TERRIFYING, yo

Dog no. 1 may have joint issues so we're feeding her new food from the vet (free sample) plus a supplement (not free) and it smells really horrible (whereas the curry just smells like curry) and M can't smell it at all and it's not fair

there are no large size ziplock bags in europe, and by the time anyone reads this, NO, IT'S TOO LATE, DON'T SEND ANY

the midwife hasn't emailed me back

i need to locate sandpaper, right away

relatedly, my floor has sawdust on it and i can't bend over to sweep it up, which really ought to be funnier than it is

the english speaking mum's group meeting this week is in a fucking Starbucks

and i don't know how to say decaf in german. is ohne koffein enough to get my point across?

i walked past a McDonalds two days ago and it smelled really, really good. Resistance not yet futile, though. Yet.

also, Dear Vienna, Virginia, Assholes, Please quit posting on the international fucking craigslist. Morons. It is clearly labeled as being in another country and you are, again, making all americans look bad. oh, great, thanks.

Labels: baby, random

scrawled @ 07:44

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22.8.07

not a tchotchke person

barring the dog toys, anyway.

the apartment is not quite exactly out of the IKEA catalog - which doesn't have dog crates - but damn close. Damn close. basic lines, easy curves, big blocky pieces of headstrong color. there are only two things i can see that are purely decorative: a pair of river shells we brought from Texas securely wrapped in a couple of socks each, one black oyster and one creamy, broken clam. and while the pine table and bookshelf could probably use finishing (probably? who am i kidding? it's just theoretically unhealthy for me to be inhaling paint fumes right now) - bleh. they're functional enough. The previous inhabitant left us two vases and a fish-shaped wind chime. the vases are a problem as far as storage goes: but at least the kitchen cabinets are tall enough that i wouldn't put anything else that high anyway. M can't reach them either, the tops, and it's a pretty sure thing they're layered in dust, but this is me not being in a place that cares. But i like having places for stuff. Boxes to put things in. it pisses me off to no end that i can't hide the water heater behind a door. Big tubs where i can toss all sorts of crap and not have to look at it, not have it be a constant yes, i have four and a half beanie babies kind of thing. Any kind of hidden storage. it's the leftover rebel-without-a-cause-i-ness in me, i think. also easier to clean, for extra rebel-without-a-cause-y points. certain psychological overreaction to being a child of a refugee. Oy, what i'm putting on my kid, i don't want to know.

i like boxes.

So going to the fancy porcelain store (and, at that, the oldest breakables dealership in the city: 1702, i think) and buying stunningly pretty (and also, arguably useful) things is great fun. Every once in a while. More fun than browsing crate & barrel registries. and that is enough.

Labels: emptor, house

scrawled @ 12:01

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19.8.07

bah, or, On The Origins of Creativity and Art

i was a better writer when i was lonely and depressed. Oh well. and haven't i always said i'd rather be happy than smart?

edit: on the other hand, i am a way better cook when i'm not the only person eating.

Labels: blogging, writing

scrawled @ 16:32

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to remember for later

someone remind me to say this, since there is no internet in china:

Of course they're obvious in Beijing. Hon, you have a Frankenstein stick in the back of your neck. The only reason i don't stare at your piercings is that i'm usually talking to your face.

Labels: people

scrawled @ 14:12

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17.8.07

how to avoid the pope in vienna

Friday, September 7
==> Arrival at Vienna Schwechat Airport (late morning)
==> Prayer at Am Hof (about 12:45 pm)
==> Meeting with Representatives at the Imperial Palace (late afternoon)

Saturday, September 8
==> Pilgrimage to Mariazell
==> Holy Mass in front of the Basilica (about 10:30 am)
==> Vespers at the Pilgrimage Church (about 4:45 pm)

Sunday, September 9
==> Holy Mass at St. Stephen's (about 10 am)
==> Angelus Prayer on Stephansplatz (12 noon)
==> Visit to Heiligenkreuz Abbey (about 4:30 pm)
==> High-level meeting at the Konzerthaus in Vienna (about 5:30 pm)
==> Farewell at Vienna Schwechat Airport (evening)

Labels: festivities, people

scrawled @ 16:39

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getting closer.

Things we have already organized:
Baby backpack, Camera, Classical or lullaby music, Food source, Car Seat & Car Seat Head Support (????? right?), Diaper bag, Diapers, Crib, mattress, bedding, many clothes and hats and socks, Desitin (but, umm), Baby powder, Mattress pads for us and baby, Other clothes hamper, Comfy chair and stool, Washcloths and hoodie towels and baby soap and shampoo, breastpads and lansinoh, Night light, sheets, recieving blankets, crib-mobile, Large colorful storage boxes, Books, Dr Browns bottles, baby dishes and spoons and stuff, Well behaved dogs, Some toys, Frozen things for teething on, Tiny bathtub (again, ???), Super double secret current front-runner name

Things we should really work on prior to arrival:
Stroller, Sling for when Ergo is in the wash, baby home health care incl. thermometer & teeny tiny nail scissors & first aid kit & baby medicine, Diaper collection item (pref. cloth), Baby wipes, Moses basket, Dresser with convertible changing-table top, More efficient storage system preferably with a place to hang things, Do babies need winter coats?, Medela breast pump, dishwasher rack, rechargable batteries for camera, baby monitor, safety gate(s), cabinet locks, pack-n-play, teeny tiny baby mittens, Crib mirror, Address of several-months-younger baby to facilitate rapid offloading of newborn/off-season stuff

Labels: baby, emptor

scrawled @ 13:39

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13.8.07

in which we are attacked by crazed french lesbians

really. Really really. it was odd: most of the time, people learn we are american (i say "from near chicago" as texas and new york are places that people have opinions about, where chicago is less controversial) and they say, oh that's great, i'm from iran, let's be best friends. Or i don't speak a word of english, but it is wonderful that you are having a baby, so here have some more noodles. Or something to that effect - people have been very welcoming. this was the first time that we were really laid into for being americans at all, like there is something i can do about where i was born at this point. That we should all just go home. Crazed french lesbians did not apply this to themselves leaving a country that is obviously just as foreign to them; and eventually the waiter came out and told them to please shut up.

also, Rhine valley most picturesque place ever. and, Gimp photo editor kind of handy, but a bit unneccessarily cumbersome for just this: anyone know where MS Office Picture Manager went when i got a new hard drive and reinstalled both windows and office? Annoyed.

Labels: expat, vienna

scrawled @ 16:19

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9.8.07

umm, celebrities are people too?

if i can take jenny mccarthy (playmate of the year '94, autism spokesperson) and brooke shields (huge eyebrows, PPD sufferer, appears to be a massively depressing book author i don't ever want to read, but still, somebody has to talk about it) seriously, i can certainly show the same respect for jon bon jovi. That thing with the big wheels and the pram, all-inclusive? That's a hell of a stroller, albeit with a hideous logo. and also distinctly not a bugaboo. and also we might continue with the giant hippie marathon and not buy a stroller until both our backs give out from overuse of the ergo.

Labels: baby

scrawled @ 07:43

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7.8.07

heck yeah, i'm gonna eat that

so apparently my taste buds are entirely screwy. Case in point: jalapeno peppers, with a Scoville rating of 2,000-8,000, and i could barely eat a popper covered in cheese and crust and ranch dressing when i lived in texas. while, of course, M would happily crunch them down straight. Now? There are still no jalapenos on this continent. What there are instead is the african red devil pepper, rated at between 50,000 and 175,000, and i barely notice them - i can smell the pepper in the air when i cook with them, but it's awfully vague, and the flavor and the oomph is not what one would expect from a rating that high. we went to an indian restaurant and i said to make it hot for me and they did, i guess, apparently, because M tasted it and i think it nearly made him cry, and it was delicious but not spicy.

This is the long way to say that i made red beans and rice and that i have a sheer yawning gap where i ought to have an idea of how salty it is. I only put in two of the peppers, though ...

Being pregnant is still weird. (Further bulletins as events warrant. Don't like pickles yet.)

Labels: baby, food

scrawled @ 19:47

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5.8.07

dress your family in tie dye and hemp

(making strangled noises)

or, in which the truth outs: and i am a giant hippie again. I deliberately signed up at the hospital with the midwives and the acupuncture and the massage and the no-you-can't-have-an-epidural routine and the lactation consultants (and, for that matter, the midwife school AND the donated milk collection centre). I thoroughly plan on breastfeeding and wearing my baby and doing both in public as often as possible. I hope to have it sleep in our room for several months (baby, please don't snore). We have a giant box of cloth diapers and a lot (though i'd prefer more, but a gift is a gift, but oy, but anyway i'm not sending them back) of the clothes and other baby items we have are pre-used. I no longer shave my legs, i walk everywhere, and some days i don't wear a bra (and, no, the belly does NOT provide support. At all. And anyone who tells you otherwise is a damn liar, with the caveat that every pregnancy is different, every woman carries differently, et c., but no, i don't think i'll be able to rest a coffee cup on it, ever, seeing as how i'm nowhere near that yet and only have seven or eight weeks to go). When we don't have visitors, three days out of four are vegetarian. I buy organic fucking yogurt with my save-the-world-yuppie disposable income. M even thinks it was his idea that we stopped buying crap (and i'll give him this much: it's his phrasing).

These are my priorities. also, i am a granola fucking goddess: i look just like the venus of willendorf, only with straight hair.

Labels: emptor, family, reflection

scrawled @ 15:49

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4.8.07

it's alive.

so i got everything off the hard drive just in time, minutes before it melted completely. The pictures are all on flickr, the music is all on the external black book, the list of baby names is securely hidden. And now, after identifying a new hard drive and finding all the old windows disks, i have a hundred new, empty gigabytes to fill (or, six down, ninety-four to go) - will see how much is left after the music goes back on.

or, almost everything: the itunes playlists are gone. Again. And that annoying kid across the street is practicing her scales, which means bad things are coming. because, dear annoying kid, you are not whitney houston, and even if you were, please close your damn window, seeing as how that shit carries. plus, i'm pretty sure being twelve disqualifies you from being Every Woman. but all that means is that i have to get the decent music back on immediately.

Labels: media

scrawled @ 12:37

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