scrawls.

scrawls

still cheaper than therapy*

24.5.08

in which i am heartlessly analytical

and everybody else i know is a good mama, and i am mean and nasty. Which is going around, to be fair. I hear. I gather. Anyway. i am analytical. It's how i deal. To a fault, possibly. It is how i roll. And it is how i learn more about myself, too, for that matter. Hell, it's how i blog. so. Case in point:

wednesday: ... twenty-six minutes (v. (large))
thursday: .... sixteen minutes
friday: ...... fifteen minutes (v. (medium))
saturday: .... thirteen minutes (v. (small (only spit-up, really)))
sunday: ...... nine minutes
monday: ...... two minutes

The v. is only when i am around. She knows. And is frenetic, righteously pissed off. M wanted to help. So very much. He wouldn't have said anything otherwise. Honey, you've got a great papa. And this helps, in a way, it does, and i keep telling myself that in the long run this will be easier. That he's right and it's a teaching moment. And it is getting better. And i shouldn't qualify that at all. Because it is. The Pantley was not working. She helped a little but we were honestly stalled.

What will they say, in a generation? Will we know any more? Will they condemn us? They will. They must. But for what? For doing this, or for not doing it sooner? For other decisions? And why? And when? Or will the whole world have gone to hell with the global warming and the collapse of oil-based Western civilization so nobody will care if we Ferberized someone or not? Will that even be a word? It's all we know to do. There was a show on the BBC about a big family and they had a baby and they gave him all sorts of things: powdered wood lice, mercury - mercury!, leeches, rosewater. Things they used to do are horrifying. Honey, i love you, all i'm doing is my best.

Also, since you're awake when we put you down, you immediately roll onto your tummy and sleep that way now. Which i think adds to the spitting up, but also to the sleeping peacefully afterwards.

Labels: mamadom, milestones, sleep

scrawled @ 20:16