scrawls.

scrawls

still cheaper than therapy*

15.11.06

i am complaining too much.

at every opportunity. i don't like it when i complain too much. and i always warn people when they say they want to know and they always say, No, really, it's okay, and then i open my mouth and this pure retching venom comes out and my lips turn black and my head starts to spin around backwards and i think they're always a little taken aback, or maybe i'm just that self-conscious, but i don't like it. it isn't fun. it isn't funny, and i'm not even trying to be entertaining, i'm just venting all this rancid karmic pollution out into the atmosphere. it isn't a good time for anyone. and even, here, you see this? this is meta-complaining. a whole new level of annoying and not-fun-ness.

and then when they actually see the bile, they always go, wow, i didn't realize it was that bad, and then i try and defend it and re-minimize it because maybe it isn't really? maybe i'm overdramatizing? only i'm not, and i damn well know it. and it sounds that bad because it IS, because all of the things that i say are facts. but i don't want it to be, so i try and be an apologist about it, only that isn't particularly healthy either for anyone concerned and only makes me look flaky.

Labels: reflection

scrawled @ 17:22