scrawls.

scrawls

still cheaper than therapy*

30.8.06

at some point i really, really ought to read the great gatsby. It's only fair.

scrawled @ 04:22

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28.8.06

oh, Ed. i'm so sorry

i ever doubted you. because sometimes people bring candy or cookies or bonbons or whatever to work and put them by the espresso machine. More often they are cheap little cookies, or a bowl of Jolly Ranchers, or whatever halloween candy somebody's got left over. but. today. someone brought Turkish Delight. and, ooh. edmund is so my favorite: he has excellent taste in candy. (not to mention an entirely fab sense of style: of course you go for the white foxfur.) Peter would never understand and would do his best to look very stern and Lucy would make that squinty ugly pouty face and Susan would be off making out with some random prince or anyway be worrying about her figure but Ed. i always had faith in you, ed. And this delicate little confection is exactly why. i think before i'd had some, but it was stale and gummy and not very sweet, really, and i wondered, but this. bekir lokum. mmmmm. tags:turkish delight

scrawled @ 15:45

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23.8.06

tunics are a symptom

this is the conspiracy: my inner feminist is raising her pretty head and pulling my hair to get my attention. fashion this winter (ok, i know i'm totally lame) is all about making every woman on the planet look pregnant. look, this one is even holding her bump and she's a fucking coke-fiend-size-0. This is not being marketed as maternity wear, either, this is The New Top Thing for Everybody. fuck, it's gone all the way downmarket to Old Navy already. put this with the new federal guidelines that actually fucking SAY that all women between puberty and menopause are pre-pregnant? Makes me want to binge drink EVERY FUCKING NIGHT, thanks very much, and that isn't something i enjoy. Buy me my folic acid and healthy food and show me i'll have my same decent job afterwards, only with safe, reliable, cheap (or, better, free) daycare for the anklebiters you're so fucking desperate for? Eliminate sexism in the workplace and break the glass ceiling, which still fucking exists? Give me universal health insurance so i can afford to see a gynecologist when i'm black and poor and living in a city without any ob-gynos? Show support for the kids that already exist, maybe, and get them decent teachers and gym class and art instead of more fucking Tiger Beat and Doritos and Nintendo? no, no no no, let's just take away her freedoms and force-feed her propaganda. the phrase "preconception care" is not being applied to people in fertility clinics, here, where it might actually make sense: it is being applied to ME, and i am many things, but not preconceptual. And i have plans to go to all over europe and drink and climb things that are too high and strenuous and wear inappropriate shoes and travel light and not chug vitamins 24/7 and be free to go and have a good time in the way of my choosing. and FUCK YOU, Oscar De La Renta, for contributing to this bullshit. tags:tunics

extra: one two three

Extra extra scary: Fuck yes, my birth control causes birth defects. No shit, Sherlock. Large doses of hormones on a daily basis, i think so: no good for a health of a nonexistent and entirely hypothetical clump of parasitic, alien cells, so let's hope i can convince the prescribing gyno on this, then. And if this goes on? Little kids that have been incestuously raped? Ahhh, no, keep it honey. Abortion? Birth, ah, issues with that. If men could be pregnant. dipshits.

Extra extra extra: see, i told you.

Extra extra extra extra: DID I FUCKING STUTTER? i have to stop. i kind of want to punch someone.

scrawled @ 18:59

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18.8.06

it's got snakes

couldn't we just watch Evil Dead II over again? No? ok.

scrawled @ 16:01

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a Quandary

Shuffling off clothes like so many dead leaves. Do i keep the camisoles? i have so many: i have (maybe) three or four black ones, five-ish blue ones, two purple, one orange, one green, one gold, one red a few (ha ha) brown ... But. Is it okay to see a bra strap under one, or should i toss them all? Do i keep the ones with built-in bras only even though they don't quite, quite work? Do i keep one of every color, which would still be cutting down a bit? Do i toss the bright orange one because i'm never going to have enough tan for it to work again, after this summer, and it was only $3 at old navy anyway? do i keep one beige one, and lose all the rest? or do i just buy a few bras with really pretty colored straps?

having consulted Trinny and Susannah, i disagree with them on several counts, probably beause i'm an american and they're not: if my butt looks big in this, it is not neccessarily a bad thing; we learned this from - whether or not it is actually the case, the media coverage of it has taught us - J-lo's badonkadonk insurance, and also B's particular theory. i like cable-knit sweaters, at least if they are cut properly, so they can fuck off. and i've known about v-necks and long necklaces since junior high, dears, they're only the most obvious ever. thanks, though. tags:fashion

scrawled @ 15:14

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17.8.06

this was in the paper here yesterday

and my jaw actually dropped. it's the sort of thing that you start reading it and you think it's going to be funny or ironic or say something about Hey, maybe we shouldn't fuck people up who were born under the wrong banner but it doesn't go on to say that at all:

Biblical struggle
To the Editor:

Throughout history, organized religion has been the root cause of most of the wars.

I was taught as a young Christian that war started in Heaven. Archangels Michael and Lucifer became embroiled in a grab for power. War between the two ensued, with Lucifer losing and being cast into Hell. This war has been going on ever since on Earth because Lucifer refuses to admit defeat and has cast himself in numerous roles as our religious and political leaders.

Lucifer led us into invading Iraq to be in the middle of a 3,000-year religious war.

it's ... just ... he's serious. he's not kidding, there. but. and if lucifer led us into invading iraq, then who is the real infidel, here - because if lucifer is in charge of one army, i.e., as i think he's saying, the Americans, then we'd really better root for Allah to throw down, right?

scrawled @ 16:19

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10.8.06

i'm a little bit livid.

is the ability to travel with my toothpaste not a civil right? i wish i travelled more often just so i could boycott these fuckwads. imagine: the stench of an airport with thousands of deodorant-less people. in america.

i kid a lot of the time.

WHEN THEY TAKE AWAY MY CHAPSTIK, THE TERRORISTS HAVE ALREADY WON

see - mostly kidding. Ooh, i wonder if eye pencil counts as a solid - because if i have to wear a hijab (because THE TERRORISTS HAVE ALREADY WON - see, i'm being facetious) - then i'm damned if i'm going for a natural look. i'm sorry. But if someone wants to kill me and is willing to actually die in the attempt, banning Cover Girl from Continental isn't going to do the trick, eh? it's only a matter of time until the terrorists learn kung fu and it'll be just like in that movie where Nicholas Cage's body was a lethal weapon.

it's pointless. and it messes up the way i like to travel, which is loaded down with exactly one carry-on bag with everything and a half in it. And i bet there are lots and lots of other people who never check their shit because airlines are fucking morons when it comes to connecting me with my bag upon disembarking, and when all of us have to check all our stuff, it's only going to get worse. And we're going to get very very cranky which will make everyone else's life awful as well. which means? The terrorists have already won.

scrawled @ 17:40

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9.8.06

1. i stubbed my toe so badly i got blood on the floor

2. whatever smoke there may or may not have been last night was not my fault, it was a bad circuit in that stupid electric stove. and now i have to be extra extra careful using the front right-hand burner. because not only does it sometimes not turn on, but even worse, sometimes it kinda turns on. And smokes.

scrawled @ 04:52

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8.8.06

SO FIRST, i will have it altered (by the same lady that did it before, because she was nice, and i liked it) so that it can fit into a normal bag instead of a GIANT WEDDING DRESS SACK, as in, i will have it cut into a skirt. skirt. Because it has extra layers of fabric. so that. AND THEN, so that it is not still all WHITE, i will mail it to a lady in california and she will dye it a pretty color, like green. Green. And then, since it will not be HUGE, i can, you know, wear it to whatever kinda-formal events may come my way, and not look like a BRIDE again (because once was good, once was great, but seriously, folks), only it will still be MY WEDDING DRESS and i will get to WEAR IT. Theoretically. What with all the formal events, you know. And since it is not long it will not look like a bridesmaid dress and if it does i can go to the bead store and make it not look like a bridesmaid dress. (IT'S CUSTOM, BITCH.) And even if it does then the rest of the world can go fuck itself.

Although i may take suggestions, yet.

scrawled @ 00:06

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4.8.06

sigh.

i always want all my friends to have happily ever afters. it's horribly self-indulgent of me to keep believing in whatever part of my head that this can happen, not to mention unrealistic, and i never learn. i never learn. clearly i have watched the princess bride exactly one too many times.

scrawled @ 16:25

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1.8.06

these.

but.

scrawled @ 00:06

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