scrawls.

scrawls

still cheaper than therapy*

3.7.06

the thing about the devil wears prada

is that i would not pay full price for it if i were you. Also that there were poor, sad-looking, thoroughly bored boys in the theatre, each following their respective, bouncy, completely empty-headed girlfriend like a heavily sedated basset hound. And they looked even worse after.

also. Things we Could have learned from Meryl that, instead, we learned from Clerks, ages ago, and which every movie since has failed at:

1. Do not link your sense of self-worth to your job.
Clerks: I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages, working on my day off, the steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward-assed fuck on the planet, I smell like shoe polish, my ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy, and my present girlfriend has sucked thirty-six dicks. (Thirty-seven.)
TDWP: (icy look of misplaced ambition-by-proxy)

2. Do not pay attention to other people's opinions.
Clerks: Cancer merchant! Cancer merchant!
TDWP: (icy look of failed communication)

3. Just because they're your boss doesn't mean they're supposed to be walking all over you.
Clerks: I'm not even supposed to be here today.
TDWP: (icy look of, i guess, or i'm supposed to assume, melting faces)

4. Life sucks.
Clerks: "Empire" had the better ending. Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader is his father, uh, Han gets frozen, taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note.
TDWP: (icy look of, really, couldn't they have at least tried? by now?)

5. In a relationship, many things are important. Many other things are not.
Clerks: There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work.
TDWP: (boring puppy-dog boyfriend, blah blah blah, boring boring boring)

6. Do not take this shit seriously, what you do to pay the rent.
Clerks: Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante - and badly I might add. I work in a shitty video store, badly as well.
TDWP: (oh, come the fuck on, already.)

they're making a clerks 2. it is (i'm convinced of it) not going to measure up. look, it's not. why? because in the Kevin Smith universe, we know, now, that Alanis Morisette is God. and now that we know that? it's just not the same any more. on top of which i'm not 14, which makes a difference. Dear Kevin Smith, after this, stop while you're (still just a little bit, just by a hair, really, because Ben Affleck's nose isn't doing you any damn favors) ahead, before you completely embarras yourself. Again.

scrawled @ 20:49