scrawls.

scrawls

still cheaper than therapy*

9.1.06

onioning? Stewarting?

it's impressive how many journalistic headlines could be augmented and rendered unfit for news status, similarly to how adding "in bed" to the ends of chinese fortune cookies to make them more interesting. Taken from today's cnn.com:

More bird flu in Turkey; nobody surprised.
Apple may offer new laptops; nobody surprised.
Iran still doing nuclear research; nobody surprised.
Alito hearings begin; right on schedule.
Andrea Yates pleads insanity; as expected.
GM creates concept car; really everyone saw that coming.
Bombs kill more Iraquis; again and again and again.

maybe i'm just that ... cynical? jaded? telepathic? omniscient? what? how is this bullshit news? tell me something i don't know for once.

On the other hand:

More birds in bed. (good news for certain lads, then?)
Apple offers "laptops" in bed. (haha)
Iran researching in bed. (anatomy, and physiology.)
Alito heard in bed. (and recorded? does he call the Mrs "mommy?")
Andrea Yates pleads in bed. (she's divorced.)
GM creates concept in bed. (hey, now we're talking)
Bombs in bed. (who's never had one of those?)

a little more interesting, but it doesn't quite work as well.

scrawled @ 21:09