scrawls.

scrawls

still cheaper than therapy*

16.12.05

moral calculus = bizarroworld

so, at the new job, which i can still call new even if i've been here six months, i kill mice. And it sucks.

But somebody has to do it. Research neural tube birth defects.

They're bad. They're very nasty birth defects.

And once i can - or if i can - all the way down to the subcockle area* - accept that a baby is really worth more than a mouse, it falls in perfectly: how many mice do you need to equal a baby? i.e., At what point does it become better to let the baby die than to kill all the mice? And there is no answer for this; if a baby is worth more than a mouse, then a baby is worth more than any number of mice.

And when i need a little break i can go and look in the mirror and my head can say to my subcockles: see, i am saving a baby today. But my subcockles are still going Fuck you, i'm utterly nauseated.

note: dayquil tastes awful too. And that's the entire word-for-word standup of No Cure For Cancer, there in the link, which makes a day better. Only i don't know who the fuck that person is that made that website - because they have a small sampling of Jewel's mind-blowingly shitty poetry on it too.

scrawled @ 20:54