scrawls.

scrawls

still cheaper than therapy*

11.11.05

mom is getting hard to shop for.

i'm bored, right, and utterly worthless as far as getting anything done today goes, because when they make me go practise doing Mean Nasty Things to Poor Little Nearly-Helpless Mice (they bite), well, my nerves are shot for the rest of the day. i'm all twitchy and i keep tearing up. poor things. so i'm browsing the internet, including ebay, for presents for the mom for christmas.

Buying mom clothes is easy. scarves. sweaters. i could probably buy her shoes if i tried. blouses. i've done all that. so. but. buying mom jewelry is hard. i'm astonished that other people can do this for people not themselves on a regular basis (and have a much greater appreciation). and what does one go with? if, for instance, mom likes turquoise, only if you get her a turquoise Thing it will very obviously not go with very many outfits, because it's BRIGHT BLUE, and one kind of wants her to wear it, right? On top of which i don't like turquoise so much and don't really want to encourage it, on top of which i think she already has more than she can wear regularly. And if one finds something perfect, only in gold, whereas one thinks she likes silver better (and i would too, with her coloring). And it doesn't happen in silver. bastards. and i'm not getting it in gold because Item has to satisfy two criteria: (1) conveys a certain Message, and (2) mom will like it. (not to mention that sometimes, you're browsing ebay, and you come across an auction and it immediately occurs to you that people don't sell thirteen-carat emeralds with no reserve. because you don't. so we can all just move on. Plus, there are people that sell things with "genuine ENAMEL!" and that makes me giggle.) and if it does not convey particular Message, can i just claim it does, and have that count? cuz i almost think, no, almost certainly not, which narrows things down hugely. ARRGH this may not work out. Also i think having it in Egyptian heiroglyphs so doesn't count, as the mom does not fraternize with a large number of academic types of the sort that could read it. i'm so picky. They make plenty of other things that say what i want them to say. T shirts. Mugs. The entire world of tackydom, mostly, which is why i've never got any of it, only i don't think she quite believed me when i told her that part, though it's a conversation i'm sure she's forgotten already. i oughta call the dad and conspiracize on this, maybe. but what if she wants something tacky for christmas? do i give in to the tacky and spend money on it if it's what she honest to goodness wants (which it very well might be)? do i allow the utter and complete lack of aesthetic? can i encourage mass production and its associate eviction of artistry? am i willing to sublimate all sense of taste, to sacrifice style? can i bring myself to buy inelegant crap at all? and what if i have to enter walmart for the express purpose? g-d forbid.

is this what happened to michael graves when target approached him?

Or i could always go with a shoe rack. She certainly needs more of those. Plus: people sell some crazy shit on ebay. like, that, for instance, also comes in Aerosmith, the Indianapolis Colts, and Winnie the Pooh. who'd've ever thought ...

scrawled @ 21:43