scrawls.

scrawls

still cheaper than therapy*

4.5.05

Pandora

i feel bad. An innocent bystander will walk by me or call or email or something and say, hi, how are you? and they're expecting a response on the order of, fine, and you? only that's not what comes out of my mouth when i open it. i have all this unfocused stress. There's nothing that needs to be done for the wedding i'm not doing. There's nothing i can do about making the people with the job go any faster on their paperwork. There's nothing i can do about whether or not we're going fucking canoeing, even. Only i have all this ... pressure. And i don't know where it's coming from. So when the innocent bystander says, hi liz, what's up? i open my mouth and Pandora's Box comes out. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse come out. It's like one of those evil-slinky-snake-in-a-can things. i'm that girl in the fairy tale spewing frogs and snakes and bugs (that fairy tale, the one with the angelic sister that every time she opens her mouth, rubies and music and butterflies come out, and where the one sister walks there are worms, and where the other sister walks there's gold). and i'm not even thinking about it.

Labels: wedding

scrawled @ 20:32