scrawls.

scrawls

still cheaper than therapy*

13.9.04

belly culture and headscarves

so much of belly dance ... occurs in ... or originates from ... places in which islam has a pretty firm hold, i think. Maybe not a majority. Not entirely sure. Have to check up on that. But. So. there i am in class last week with my shirt tucked up under my bra and me wiggling my ass in show-offy almost-too-tight yoga pants, a perfectly typical thing to do in a nice aerobic-workout-belly-class. it's the first class of the "semester" so there's one woman, on the older side but not really there yet, that was there before (also in a t-shirt (but not tucked up) and yoga pants), and a couple of college kids that have for some crazy reason come in jeans, and the gorgeous long-limbed slender almost-model Brazilian teacher of course in essentially spandex, and a girl comes in late in big poly basketball shorts and a t-shirt, and then a girl comes in in big loose wind pants and long sleeves and a head scarf. and she stands behind me. and i wasn't self-conscious at all when there are people randomly up by the top half of the room (there's a big window) doing ab workouts and sort of glancing in on a regular basis. but now Ms. Headscarf is behind me and she's a very nice girl but honestly i wonder what she's thinking? me all nekkind and wiggling in public with mixed company doing ab excercises upstairs? and i'm not terribly good at it so i'm not particularly sexy doing it, and who wants to look at my floppy belly, and i don't think i'm especially graceful, and my yoga pants aren't really ... i mean i don't feel funny going out in public in them and i don't wear tight pants in public, and it's a t-shirt, so it's not like it's ... and ... i'm just ... it's not all that interesting really. Yet, anyway. But she's totally covered up behind me (we could see her face, but no hair or neck) and ... it's weird. Much weirder than having other almost-naked (or, when you factor in certain things, far nakeder) people around. and i'm getting all ugly-duckling-feeling. it was better when there was that little hong-haired hottie with the French pedicure - i wasn't self-conscious at all around her. but if you can't focus on any parts of your body it's a completely different form - if you can't even see any parts of yourself. so i'm wondering what she's thinking or if she's used to it or how long she's been here or what. and then i'm wondering what m is thinking because however many times i say i'm not at all sexy or graceful in class yet i'm not sure because it's still belly dancing. and ... it's weird.

i'm not entirely sure i like the idea of a gym in the first place. going somewhere just to get sweaty with all these other random people??? ... But ... eh. Maybe if i keep going i'll like it better. at least it's a gym for townies and normal people, and not single girls trying to get that not-really-elusive-at-all MRS degree and boys trying to get laid. Because there's a fucking lot of them in this town.

Labels: health, people, politics

scrawled @ 19:08