scrawls
still cheaper than therapy*


20.8.04
two are united into one - wha?
at m's cousin's wedding, they were somehow becoming not a pair, not a set, not a permanent group, not a couple, but becoming one person, one unit. Which doesn't really sound like something i want to do. (i'm not really attracted to nirvana either - i like being myself entirely too much to want to evaporate - but that's another topic entirely.) i don't want to dissolve into m or have him fade into me - i don't think it sounds quite healthy. we've had a successful relationship as two seperate, self-actualized, more-or-less independent entities. and i'm in love with him and i want to spend my life with him but i don't want to entirely lose my selfhood in the process. it's a little bit of a horrifying idea - it's not "obey," and at least it's reciprocal, but it's creepy all the same.

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scrawled @ 16:25






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