scrawls.

scrawls

still cheaper than therapy*

21.7.04

i don't like any wedding dresses.

i mean, any.

i don't like the big ballgown ones with the too-much-skirt. i don't like the slinky (slimy?) sophisticated looking too-fussy ones. i don't like the high-maintenance jeweled-sheer-neckline-bridezilla ones. i don't like the ones with trains ('cuz really, what do you do with a fucking train, other than get grass stains all over it?) i, um, don't like the ones that reach the floor. i don't like the ones that don't show enough skin on top. i don't like the slutty ones with a bunch of holes cut out. i don't like the ones with beading. i don't like the ones with little jackets. i don't like the empire-waisted-i'm-already-pregnant ones. i don't like the ones with little flowers. i don't like the ones with huge accent flowers. i don't like the too-ethnic ones. i don't like the ones that don't allow for support garments. i don't like the ones with slits up to here. i don't like the ones with big flowy sleeves that would only get caught in the soup. i don't like the ones with droopy (what is that called, swag? drape? ridiculously untailored? cowl, that's it.) necklines. i don't like the ones with weird extra colors in them. i don't like the ones that are Really White. i don't like the ones that only look good on skinny people. i don't like anything at all that david's bridal has to offer. i don't like the ones with handpainted embellishments. i don't like the ones with feathers (who would put feathers on a wedding gown? really?). i don't like the saggy skirt-suit fourth-wedding-and-i'm-fifty mother-of-three-other-brides ones. i don't like the ultra-modern way-too-freaky-shiny ones. i don't like the asymmetrical ones. i don't like the 'period' ones (yeah, there's a reason that style went out in the 30s). i don't like the expensive ones, for obvious reasons, though at the same time, maybe i like them a little bit ;). i don't like the ones with bustles or pinned-up trains (why would i want my butt to look bigger?). i don't like the ones that are too corsety. i don't like the ones with fur. i don't like the ones with crochet.

now, this - well.

Labels: wedding

scrawled @ 23:32